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So this is something that has me a little pissed off lately. Here is a quote from Hillary Clinton regarding the “Hot Coffee” download for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

“We should all be deeply disturbed that a game which now permits the simulation of lewd sexual acts in an interactive format with highly realistic graphics has fallen into the hands of young people across the country,” Clinton wrote in a letter to the head of the Federal Trade Commission.

Link to the story.

Let me go ahead and point out that I am not against violence on TV or video games whatsoever. My beef with all the hoop-la about sex on a video game is simply that I cannot believe people are outraged that their kid might be able to make a character in a video game have sex. Why is the kid playing the game in the first place? It’s rated “M” for mature, meaning that a kid shouldn’t be playing it without parental discretion. If you are a parent that lets your kid play games that glorify murder, abuse towards women (especially prostitutes), and ta-da…grand larceny; you probably aren’t a parent that gives two shits about the character taking a break from his day of slayings to “get down” with another character. Cheap stab here (pun intended) but I think we know why Hillary is so offended by sex. Sex is legal though. Drug trafficking, grand larceny, prostitution, murder, manslaughter, driving on the wrong side of the road, driving on houses, driving on baby strollers, knocking old ladies in the head with a baseball bat; those are all in fact illegal. The one thing that could happen in the video game that is legal has to be downloaded, has made Rockstar Games claim that it was a hacker’s fault, and is now being placed on front pages everywhere.

Then there is the issue that this download is only available for the computer version of the game. If a kid has access to the internet to download a sex code, I’m going to bet that the kid has access to all kinds of other illegal activities as well as access to being picked up by sick, murderous, proven child molesters and pornographers that have free reign of the internet in the name of human rights. Children continue to be kidnapped, raped, beaten, and buried alive while people with power worry about pixels in the shape of penises disappearing into pixels in the shape of vaginas.

Sex is the last thing that is wrong with video games. Sex is in fact the formula for life, but I guess it could be distracting if you’re almost out of time to make the drop of the car you stole from an old lady that you clubbed like a baby seal before you picked up a prostitute and ran over her after you used her like toilet paper.

I’m glad I didn’t have the internet growing up. I played with toy guns in the woods with my siblings and friends. I was taught how to handle real guns in the back yard with my siblings and friends. I was taught basic virtues in the backyard with my siblings and friends. I shot ducks on a TV screen when it rained and I couldn’t go outside. When I became an adult I played Grand Theft Auto, watched violent films, downloaded things that made me feel guilty for clicking “save-as” before I ever knew what it would show. But, I was an adult and I hadn’t forgotten all the times with my siblings and friends when I learned that some things are very serious and others aren’t worth crying over.